Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
