I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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