Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
