i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
