i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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