My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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