Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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