how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
