I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
