It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize