i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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