apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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