guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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