i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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