I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
