A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
