OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
