I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
