Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
