Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
