could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just blew my weed a kiss
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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