Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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