8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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