ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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