Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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