But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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