the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
