It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
