It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
