Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
