It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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