Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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