how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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