weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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