Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
