Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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