WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
