The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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