He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
