dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
