Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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