I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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