Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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