So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
