Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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