i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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