I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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