I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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