It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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