I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
