Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
