Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
