How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm at about main and main street
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
