I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
