whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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