"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
