I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
