Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
